Many would claim that 2020 was a horrible year, I personally know people who have every right to proclaim this, but I am not among them.
It definitely was not an easy year, I do have my own share of tears and fears, but for me to denounce 2020 as “the worst year ever (thus far)” would be a disservice to the real victims. People who lost their closest and dearest loved ones, those who lost their livelihoods, those who are forced to bear the risk of mortal danger for the sake of others, they are the ones who truly suffer throughout 2020. No, my 2020 was challenging, unpleasant, scary, and many other not-so-nice things, but I feel that the right to truly loathe 2020 should be reserved for people who suffered more than I did.
What did I do throughout 2020?
I stayed inside and made do with what I have. Call me privileged/lucky/blessed, and I will guiltily admit that yes, compared to most I have less grievances. Not to say that it was all smooth sailing throughout the year. Somehow I know just enough angels to keep me sane, fed, and paid. I learned to recognize the things that really matter and those that do not. And I also had the opportunity to have deep, long conversations with the one person who matter most to me, which is myself.
Between the pandemic, the issues brought to light at the global and national scale, and all the terrible incidents happening, I was forced to recognize that things are not okay. Modern humans, myself included, are so fragile, physically and mentally. Our structures and systems are flawed, a state that is preserved by the few who gain from those flaws. I’m baffled but I have to admit that most people do not understand how their actions can affect others. Everything is not okay, but okay at least now we know.
I was also forced to accept that I may have subconsciously been limiting my own potentials. Yes growth is scary and uncomfortable, but nothing like a global threat to hammer down the idea that I need to keep moving to avoid being trampled. I still do not plan to blindly move with the herd, but unless I position my footing strategically I will either be forced to follow or be used as leverage.
2020 is like an alarm that blares in a cold morning, forcing me to extract myself from the warmth and comfort of my bed.
“WAKE UP, things are not okay, but we can make it better!”
“GET UP, don’t you realize how vulnerable you are?”
“RISE UP, helplessness is not a state you want to remain in.”
As usual I hit the snooze button, but then it keeps blaring, louder and louder, with each new disaster, with each passing month. Until I have no choice but to leave my cocoon of illusion and acknowledge that I have so many things to do and I can’t afford to stay in bed. After all, there’s a whole world of opportunities out there, waiting for me once we finally get a handle of things. So many things to fix, so many things to prepare.
… well if 2020 was a wake up call then I guess it’s time to finish my coffee and tackle my 2021 To-Do list.
There’s no guarantee that 2021 is going to be easier or better, but hey at least now I have a vague idea of what I’m supposed to do.